Bangkok Expat Mama

Buns and Blogs

Behold, the image that spurred me to re-launch my hitherto untended blog. "Ham Cheese Chocolate Buns"! Yes, gentle reader, you read that right. Let's imagine how such an, erm, innovative creation evolved in the Tops supermarket bakery:

"Let's put in some ham. And cheese, too; those flavours go quite nicely together. So far, so good...but hang on, what else could we add to make this combination undeniably moreish? Oh, yes, of course! How could we not have thought of it earlier? Chocolate. Yes! That's it. A generous lashing of chocolate. What a winning trio of taste and texture! These buns will sell like hotcakes." (Hotcakes made with marzipan and anchovy paste, perhaps. -- Ed.)

Unfortunately the photo isn't very clear, but I'm lucky to have managed any shot at all, considering that a bakery staffer hustled over as soon as he saw me aim the camera. "No photos! Mai dai! Mai dai!" he exclaimed anxiously. The flash popped just as those words sputtered out of his mouth, but to respect his (or rather, Tops' corporate) wishes so that his supervisor wouldn't hear later that he let a crazy khon farang lady railroad him over snapping his lovely buns, and because I'd hate to get banned from my most convenient neighbourhood food source, I lowered the camera and took no other shots.

In Bangkok, traffic is bad enough and even Ham Cheese Chocolate Buns are not novel enough to risk banishment from the one supermarket within reasonable walking distance from my flat. There are, after all, limits to my quest for truth, justice, and the recording of Big Mango absurdity.

You may wonder, where on earth has BEM been, lo, these past 16 months? Where to start...where to start...well, I'll show you one big reason rather than tell you:

I've seen loads of blogs by women who parent, work, cook, bake, write books, take hikes, campaign against fur, run marathons, invent fantastic gadgets, knit, scrapbook, stay current with personal correspondence, and so on. Regrettably, that is so not me. Anyone who has crossed my path during any of my peripatetic life's many iterations, knows that I tend toward the slovenly. I cannot multi-task. I am a slacker. I mean well but usually forget to do nearly everything I sincerely intend to do unless it is vitally important to the immediate, urgent requirements of running my own little (messy, unorganised) home.

So when 2007 turned out to be a mad year, several things had to give, and one of them was the blog.

There's been no shortage of blog fodder, however. Funny and frustrating things about life here, our extended time in London, pregnancy, life since Boy #3 arrived, anger and despair over how the Bush administration continues to ruin and end lives in its war of choice, has dragged the U.S. into recession and built up an enormous deficit, plays the dunce about climate change (to humankind's peril), and further erodes the U.S.'s standing in the world...I could go on but I'd prefer not to end my return on a depressing note.

Hence...OBAMA '08!

Frustration and Motivation

(Commenter TC: Please read the P.S. at the end of this post!)

Sigh. Let's see, where have I been for lo, these past three weeks? Plenty of cool and interesting and noteworthy things have been happening, but two main obstacles have prevented me lately from posting regularly.

Reason #1: Technical. My online ISP is the Telephone Organisation of Thailand, which provides excrutiatingly slow connections when the server's working...but it often isn't, making even the slow connection seem amazing by comparison. Very often I'll flop down after a long, productive day of romping around Bangkok and/or mommying, and the munchkins are tucked up cosily in bed, and I'm positively brimming with anecdotes and opinions to share...only to discover that I can't get online. Henh.

Of course I could still draft a post in word-processing mode, then post it later when the server's up. But I nearly always forget that option. Instead, wind taken out of my bloggy sails, I settle down to watch a pirated DVD or catch up on the stacks of reading awaiting my eyes. Not bad alternatives, but I ought to flex my writing muscles a little more often, no?

I've whinged on enough about TOT over recent months that readers might suppose, as I've got a personal vendetta by now against this poor, beleagured agency, that I should simply change ISPs. Well, it's not as simple as changing accounts. I've tried, and because TOT is a friggin' government agency, it only Scroogeishly doles out phone line concessions or whatever to private sector competition like True, KSC, and Buddy Broadband. The result is that at this point, no other ISPs can service my otherwise innocuous little subsoi in outer Sukhumvit. Dammit. I've called and called the other companies, begged and beseeched them, but they can't get a new phone line for my current address. Until we move in about four months, we're stuck with TOT and we're stuck with paying for 24/7 service but only enjoying roughly 10/4 service. So that's that. End of.

Reason #2: Mental. I've felt a little bit "Feh! Why bother?" lately at the end of days dotted with blog-worthy encounters of the Bangkok weird. (Believe me, this blog's fallow periods do not signify that life in the Land of Smiles has become quotidian. Perish the thought! Rest assured, you can still spot motorcycles here carrying, for instance, four family members, a computer monitor, and two chickens.) Nay, my blog seems to be suffering from a wee existential crisis.

Like, what is the point of Bangkok Expat Mama (BEM)? Lately it feels all over the road. But for which audiences am I writing? Have I described enough B, or is there too much E, and what about the M? Does the M part seem smarmy or charming, considering not all of my readers are parents? And where is the whole enterprise heading, anyway? I started the blog as a way for loved ones back home to see more of expat life here, but 18 months on, my most frequent commenters and visitors have proved, in fact, to be lovely people whom I've never met but who found the blog through Net searches. So...part of me feels slightly deflated that many of my fave, longest-running homies in the world still have no clue about my life (nor curiosity about other cultures -- or, to be fair, the time to investigate). And the other part of me enjoys entertaining strangers from hither and yon, especially when the blog helps people find information they need. (Readers have sent emails on quests ranging from bringing pet kitties into the Kingdom to hiring a baby car seat on Thai holiday, from hotel recommendations to recipe searches. I comply to the best of my ability.)

Call it a period of bloggy ennui. But just when I was poised to let the dang thing languish even further (i.e. yesterday), an email appeared from an assistant editor of the online component of National Geographic Traveler. She might mention my humble blog in a piece she's working on about Bangkok. Well, I declare! Suddenly a modicum of blog resolve has eturned: I'd better get crackin' on quirky Bangkok stories, restaurant shout-outs, traveling tips, etc., or else my 15 minutes of cyberspace celebrity might slip by. If I let the blog head south, the NG editor might change her mind and, Brahma forbid, mention The Lost Boy instead! (Well, I could deal with that cuz he's a good guy.)

So stick around, ladles and germs. Things could get interesting round here...

(Commenter TC: One of my dearest friends here runs the BAMBI [Bangkok Mothers & Babies International] website. [See Life in Thailand links in lefthand column.] Last week she told me that they've been having technical glitches while changing domains and doing all sorts of impressively complicated computer-y tasks I don't really grasp. She expects the site, at a new address still TBA, to be up and running next week. Meanwhile, good luck on your hunt for domestic help. I suggest checking Craigslist's Bangkok website; the notice boards at Villa Sois 33, 49, and 55; and newsletters for the large international schools in the area.)

The Dowager on Soi 2

This is the lobby of the Atlanta, an eccentric little hotel at the end of Sukhumvit Soi 2. Despite it's frozen-in-time lobby and restaurant (my Czech friend gasped and said, "I feel like I'm home[Prague]! This is just like home!" upon her visit), the Atlanta happens to be tech-savvy enough to offer free WiFi access to all comers. And they wisely chose a non-TOT ISP, which is why I've been sitting in their lobby this midday, nursing a pot of chocolate, with intentions of uploading Burma photos onto this blog -- something I can't do at home thanks to TOT's lameness.

But, to paraphrase Burns, the best-laid plans of mice and mummies often go astray.

I've got to leave in 15 minutes to pick up A from nursery, and how many photos have I uploaded and captioned? Zero. Zilch. Nada. Cuz I let myself get sucked into visiting other Typepad blogs I haven't been able to check from home in a few days thanks to TOT's...OK, you know where I'm going with this; I'm starting to sound like a broken tuk-tuk wheel that's just spinning round and round.

Maybe that's a good thing, though. I've spent so much time on political diatribes recently that this blog hasn't been living up to the "Bangkok" and "Mama" in its name. So today I'll try to make up for that a little.

As for "Bangkok", we've got the shout-out to the Atlanta. This place has terrific Thai food, as well as satisfying Western breakfasts, decent coffee, and dynamite homemade hot chocolate. The food is incredibly cheap for today's Bangkok. Despite the official hotel website's warnings that "outsiders" may not dine here or enter the premises, my friends and I have found that tipping generously (most staff are loyal long-timers) and a pleasant, respectful attitude (which one would employ anywhere, n'est-ce pas?) allow us access with no problem. I particularly enjoy lingering over a coffee by the pool, which happens to have been Bangkok's first hotel pool but, more relevant today, lies next to a lush garden inhabited by countless tame kitties and several tortoises.

Actually the kitties have free run of the whole place. No wonder I love hanging out here! (Note the furry bundle lounging on the divan in above photo.)

Rooms here are cheap, too, by this neighbourhood's standards. Friends who have stayed here tell me that the rooms are basic with a capital "B". At the Atlanta, however, the rooms are not the point. But after running around Bangkok all day, tourists usually care not a bit how fancy their room is. One comes here for the quirky ambience, convenient location, great food, reasonable rates, and the adorable cats who, in fact, run the show.

As for the "Mama" part, I'll report that apparently A's teacher has been teaching the kids (four-year-olds, mind you) yoga -- perhaps as part of an enlightened approach to holistic, New Age learning, but more likely, I suspect, in a desperate bid to settle a class of eight rambunctious boys (Mai, the only girl, just moved back to Japan). Yesterday morning A rolled out of bed and promptly stretched out on the floor and said, out of the blue, "N, let me teach you some yoga. I'm doing yoga, you see it? Now you do it, too, OK?"

As I puttered around with morning rituals (backpack? check! home-time bus snack for N? check! P.E. kit? check!), I could hear the impromptu yoga lesson continue.

"Flex, point. Flex, point. Flex, point...Now butterfly...Yah, N!...Now reach for the sky...Yah!" Giggling. "Let's do butterfly again."

So cute.

I probably won't have time to escape TOT non-Typepad world until Saturday because tomorrow will be flat-out chockers with mummy duties (helping out at N's school, the school Loy Krathong celebration, A pickup) then an interview for a freelance gig (the pastry chef of a four-star hotel, on the baked goodies they'll make for Christmas: Can you say, "free samples"? Mmm!). Burma photos coming soon...by American Thanksgiving if we're lucky.

Oh, Bloody Hell!

Pardon the language, gentle readers, but T.O.T. (that's the Telephone Organisation of Thailand) are testing my nerves again. So far I'm losing the battle to keep "jai yen".

Here I am, freshly returned from Burma, positively brimming with stories to share, bursting with political postulations (not least of which is, where the hell is Daw Aung San Suu Kyi?! What I saw when cruising past her house in Yangon makes me suspect she's under plain "arrest", no longer "house arrest" -- but more on that later), and fairly staggering under loads of photos to put in a bloggy photo album, but thanks to more T.O.T. idiocy, I can't access anything remotely Typepad (my blog's host) from home via my T.O.T. server.

Hence my sitting in the True Life coffee shop-cum-daytime-rave on Thong Lo. In an effort to project a uber-inter-trendy-lifestyle ambience, True have tricked the place out with Jetson-themed furniture built for midgets -- oy, my aching back! -- while they make sure the soundtrack can compete with Club Astra on a Saturday night. How can anyone get any work done around here? So harrumph-eth the 30-something farang lady who can't blog from home. The coffee menu looks intriguing, though. Next time, when I'm not in a hurry to fetch Master A from nursery, I'll try a Peppermint Peddy latte. (I stared at that one for a while before realising the menu means Peppermint "Patty", like the Peanuts cartoon heroine or the American sweet.)

Why am I so sure there will be a next time, during which I'll try the Peddy?  T.O.T. has blocked Typepad before, and it wasn't brief. Starting the afternoon of 19 Sept. -- that date sound familiar, old Thailand hands? -- and lasting for about 10 days, T.O.T. blocked all things Typepad from its servers. I couldn't access the host site to work on my blog, nor any blogs at all that are hosted by Typepad. My calls to the service center met with the telephony equivalent of blank stares. Then, after 10 days of alternating between tearing my hair out and paying for online time at Internet cafes with non-T.O.T. servers (i.e. True, KSC, Linksys, etc.), which really irritated me as we already pay a monthly fee for service at home -- then, suddenly, when I idly decided to torture myself by trying for the gazillionth time to access a preferred Typepad blog such as Dim Sum Mum's, I discovered that access had returned.

Well, let's hope that this time round's blocking doesn't last as long as 10 days...or else BEM may finally, indubitably go irrevocably, certifiably mad! Either way, from home if access returns or from this cafe/disco if not, I'll upload some photos tomorrow and divulge the highlights from Burma.

Until then, jai yen...deep breaths...ommmm...

It's the Wine Talkin'

Here's a post after drinking a nice large glass of Penfold's with tonight's pizza:

1. Visit newley.com and Bangkok Pundit for salient coup-related coverage.

2. "Entourage" is on right now, and it is seriously the funniest, most surreally realistic (yeah, I know, oxymorons, but true!) on U.S. TV these days. Jeremy Piven's character of Ari is adorably ruthless. And the buddies' patter is spot-on. "Let's hug it out, bitch!"

3. My children would make Dr. Johnson proud; they both invented words today. Nathan says "grampire" for "vampire" (don't ask why a seven-year-old is talking about vampires) and Alec says "makery" instead of "bakery", as in "They make pretzels in a makery, right? Where they make bread-like things?"

A Very Quiet Riot

Last night about 20 Chulalongkorn and Thammasat university students, led by political science lecturer Giles Ungpakorn, held a peaceful protest against the coup, on the steps of Siam Discovery Center. Most of them wore all-black clothing or sported black armbands. Mr Ungpakorn and a handful of students spoke with the media types peppering them with questions. The majority silently held up placards with messages such as "No to Thaksin, no to Coup" and, in Thai, "It's not reform, it's a coup!"

Journo types outnumbered the brave protesters at about five-to-one. TV camera crews jostled with photojournalists,who were tripping over reporters scribbling notes and getting bonked in the head by wayward boom mikes. Several students had donned kerchiefs or face masks to obscure their facial features, which proved a wise move as a dour policeman was lurking among the media, taking his own snaps which will, no doubt, end up in dossiers to keep track of which Thai citizens might continue to challenge authority. I tried to snap him doing it but never managed to time it right.

On one hand, it's a good sign that the military allowed the protest to take place. The new regime's penchant for censoring news led me to expect them either to prevent the demonstration or to clamp down violently on it. Thank goodness, neither happened. But...the powers-that-be have blocked the students' website, 19sept.org, and Mr Ungpakorn said that a military officer called him yesterday to "request" that he cancel the group's plans.

The protesters asked for the Council for Democratic Reform under Consitutional Monarchy (CDRM), led by Gen Sonthi, to: 1. Take soldiers out of Bangkok, 2. Reinstate the 1997 constitution, and 3. Lift the ban on media criticising the coup and political situation. They made clear that though they do not like Mr. Thaksin's administration, they don't believe a military coup can solve the problem.

I had headed over there expecting to see thousands of motosai taxi drivers and rice farmers marching on behalf of Mr Thaksin. I had forgotten, however, that once a certain revered person had given official blessing to the coup, it quelled nearly all potential opposition. To disagree with the military leaders' actions is one thing; to disagree with actions endorsed by a "certain person" is a horse of an entirely different colour. People go to jail for being perceived as disagreeing with or criticising this "certain person" in even ambiguous situations. The "certain person" in question probably isn't a fan of imprisoning others on such matters, but many fellows in authority keep the threat of it alive in order to keep subjects in line.

That's why yesterday's tiny band of protesters are very brave. They love the King as much as any Thai does, and surely they feel compassion for his having to make the agonising decision between continuing to preside over a corrupt, dysfunctional, caretaker-run democracy or to allow a coup-based, temporarily (?) military-run regime seek reform. But these 20 people risked injury and/or arrest in order to stand up for what they believe is right.

Sadly, I overheard several reporters griping as they left the hour-long event that they had no story, their lead story had gone up in smoke, wah wah wah. What, it's only a story if people get hurt? It's only worth covering if people get beaten up or arrested? To me, considering the circumstances described above, even if only one solitary person had turned up to bear a placard, there would be a story: somebody was brave enough in uncertain times to declare her beliefs in public. The protest's small number reminds me of the last man standing in Tiannanmen Square, who faced a column of tanks until the absolute last possible moment. Extraordinary times can bring out the extraordinary in all of us, no?

A "Velvet" Coup?

These young fellows have been stationed round the corner from where we lived during our first five years in Bangkok, also within spitting distance of Soi Cowboy, which seemed subdued and bedraggled today instead of bustling with activity per usual. Some stalwart vendors had set up their dried-and-pressed squid carts and roti cookers, but customers were thin on the ground.

My three soldier buddies smiled and bashfully gave me permission to take their photo. After reading on Stickman that his friend had lost a camera to troops ornery that he'd taken photos of their tank, I made sure to ask before and wai them respectfully after taking these guys' snaps. Despite these soldiers' equanimity, locked and loaded weaponry in one's 'hood leaves a disturbing impression.

Sadly, for millions of people in the world, such images are part of daily life. And the soldiers aren't always as relaxed as these guys were.

I'm writing at the Foreign Correspondents' Club of Thailand right now, because my government-owned ISP (under the auspices of the Telephone Organisation of Thailand) has blocked all Typepad-hosted sites, and I haven't been able to work on my blog, much less see it or visit anything related to Typepad. Maybe the guys behind the coup took a lead from China and India, who have both blocked (i.e. censored) all Typepad sites from their citizens, lest their opinions expressed on such sites foment unrest in their otherwise tranquil society (!).

Last night I couldn't access Typepad and the consipracy theorist in me suspected that T.O.T. had blocked Typepad a la China and India, simply in a lame attempt to "purify" Thailand from pornography or political dissidence -- but even the most Oliver Stonie-ish part of my nature ever suspected that a "fifth column" of the government may have been locking down in anticipation of the coup. I trundled off to bed at 11pm, tsk'ing that I'd stayed up far too late to rise comfortably at 5:55am to get breakfast ready for Nathan before his early school bus. Little did I know that there'd be no reason to rise early, or that I'd end up staying up until 3:30am!

My friend Sarah sent an sms at 11:45pm that read, "School cancelled tomorrow, Wednesday, due to military coup." When my mobile first beeped, I thought it was my morning alarm clock and the first thought that shot through my mind was, "Gee, THAT was a short night. Are the nights gettin' freakin' shorter, or what?!" Then I saw Sarah's message and instantly I shot up and stumbled through the dark to get to our landline phone. (Pedro is working in Japan this week.) Instinctively, even at the age of 37, my first phone thought was, Call Mommy and Daddy!

Which I did, and Mom already knew what was going on from U.S. news coverage. We agreed to talk again later and then I called Pedro...who was blissfully snoring away in a Tokyo hotel room. I've always said the man could sleep through a train wreck. Now we know he can sleep through a coup. Har har. Poor dude had no idea what was going on back here.

Thanks to the folks at Ian's blog, our friend Paul in San Francisco, and my fellow blogger in HK, Tess, I picked up news before finally heading down to the Bangkok Post late this morning. Last night -- or early this morning, rather -- I saw about 15 minutes of the BBC and CNN before they cut to black. Local channels were playing Thai muzak along with montages of royal family images, which were frequently paused for brief statement by representatives of the "provisional governing authority" or whatever they're calling themselves at the moment; I've seen at least four different names so far. T.O.T. apparently blocked many news sites or panicky traffic had slowed the speed down to virtually nil.

Here at the FCCT, however, it's just an ordinary day and the non-T.O.T. ISP is working a treat. Too bad I've got to leave in a minute to head back to news black-out land -- or at least, at this point, a Typepad-less one.

Now that I've been out and about, post-coup life looks pretty much the same (so far, and only in the areas I've traversed: Ekkamai to the Bangkok Post building, then back to Asok BTS to Chidlom) as pre-coup life. The intrepid fruit truck guy was hawking his wares by loudpseaker insanely loudly this morning; contruction workers nearby were hammering away on a roof. Traffic, however, has nearly evaporated! Fabulous, we should have a coup every week if this is one of the benefits (kidding!). Many stores are closed, including certain branches of the coffee leviathan a.k.a. Starbucks.

My temporarily SAHM friend Corinna, a journo by trade, is working on a freelance story for a Canadian paper. Her interviews with soldiers, and her husband's perspective as Reuters bureau chief here, lead her to believe that this coup will pass without violence. Dare we hope that someday the annals of Thai political history might someday brand this as a "velvet" (i.e. bloodless and minimal acrimony) coup? On the other hand, Prime Minister Thaksin Shinawatra, of whose shenanigans the military brass apparently have had enough, hasn't returned to Siamese soil yet. What will happen when/if he tries to do so?

My editor at Guru is very calm about what's going on. He says coups come and go, but as long as the monarchy is here to stay, Thailand will be OK. I agree with him. And I hope His Majesty the King got more sleep than most of us news junkies/nervous nellies did last night, although I doubt it. He will not allow himself the luxury of real rest until a constitution is restored, martial law is rescinded, and his beloved subjects can live under a functioning parliamentary democracy.