...because I buy pirated DVDs and CDs.
You know the mean little advert many theatres are running these days, the one interspersing scenes of people just like me (in fact, I'd swear that's my hand sifting through DVD covers in one shot), browsing DVDS and CDs atop rickety card-tables and sheets spread out on icky sidewalks, with scenes of grafitti that pronounce, "You wouldn't rob a store...You wouldn't rob a bank...Would you buy a pirated DVD?! Because piracy is STEALING, you evil little cretin, who do you think you ARE?!"
(Please excuse my embroidering a bit at the end of the advert; in fact, the message ends tastefully with a clash of blood pressure-raising cymbals, but zero epithets.)
If the suits who made the advert are correct, then I guess I'm a thief. But who can blame me? Our cable TV package includes BBC, CNN, HBO Asia (which is worse than the back of Ange's balls -- relax, it's just a St. Alban's saying), Star Movies (ibid.), UBC Series (which runs mainly cancelled US sitcoms and ancient seasons of popular shows), MTV out of Singapore (useless), Discovery Channel (occasionally interesting, I'll grant that -- like the documentary on Pompeii), and many Thai channels. So decent TV is thin on the ground.
When good movies make it to Thai theatres, they often seem to evaporate before Pedro and I (or a band of mates) can coordinate an evening to go. And compact discs from a store -- well, let's just say that when you have a music acquisition habit like mine and Pedro's, picking the option of cheapies off the street seems like a no-brainer.
So, a dearth of legitimate choice: That's what drove me to a life of crime. A life which I've embraced with a nearly unsavory enthusiasm, I might add. Meaning that not only do I buy pirated copies, but frequently, and with glee -- my shriek of triumph at finding "Supertroopers" in a pile of oldies-but-not-that-goodies" could be heard throughout the market, even down past the lady who sells boiled sweet corn. OK, not that far, but I was REALLY delighted.
Outrageous ticket prices for concerts and cinemas, and recording contracts that quadruple the GDP of certain small industrialized nations, help me rationalize my crimes. But I admit to feeling a twinge of guilt when buying a copy of an indie or sleeper film/album whose sales ideally should reflect all the customers out there enjoying the performers' work. In those cases, buying through the pirate market, in a word, sucks. But it doesn't happen often. At Bangkok's sidewalk "shops", there is one Lisa Ono CD for every five Britney Spears-ish ones.
Readers not familiar with Bangkok's consumerist phantasmagoria, are you sitting down? Typical DVD price: 120-200 baht, depending on quality and whether it includes film's extras; typical CD price: 100 baht each, buy 5 get one free! (Forty baht equal about $1.) Hot dang!
For anyone concerned that I've turned a morality corner, never to return, I promise to kick this entertainment theft addiction upon returning to the States. Scout's honor.
Following is the booty from today's "heist" at the market behind the Thai Airways headquarters. (Thanks, Bron, for introducing Rachel and me to that area. I can't wait to roll up my sleeves and dive back in for more!)
--"Back to Bedlam", James Blunt
--"Hotel", Moby
--"It's Time", Michael Buble
--"Devils & Dust", the Boss
--"Los Boleros al Estilo de Bossanova", Lisa Ono
--"Rebirth", J.Lo (for a friend, honest!)
