It never fails. No matter how much my progeny might be whining, no matter how beastly hot the day may be, no matter how many things might be malfunctioning in our new (nightmare) flat -- no matter how hopeless life on this cruel floating marble might seem, a message in uniquely nuanced English, of which there are many in Bangkok, always can cheer me up. Maybe for just a moment between whines or blasts of traffic fumes, but a moment of cheer is better than wall-to-wall crankiness, no?
"Smoking, sleeping, and making loud noise are prohibited in this room." --sign spotted in the men's room at the Royal Bangkok Sports Club. (You may ask, why was BEM lurking about in a men's room? Progeny had finished pee'ing but had commenced throwing sink water all over each other; BEM had to enter the loo and disengage her boys before the floor got as slick as a UVA fraternity floor after Bid Night.) Per the RBSC's directive, you guys had better be sure you don't break wind with too much authority in there.
"You call me a cocksucker like it's a bad thing." --T-shirt logo worn by the young man who very kindly gave me his seat on the Skytrain when I was carrying heavy shopping bags. I plopped down, settled the bags, looked up to thank him, and -- whoa! -- stared right into the word "cocksucker". Methinks this considerate fellow had no idea what his shirt was broadcasting to the world.
"Beware of your belongings!" --sign at various Starbucks branches. Aaaaaagh, my purse is eating my hand! Awright, awright: I concede that someone at HQ must have clued in recently and changed the signs to say "Be aware...", but the original signs sure were cute while they lasted. Ouch! Watch out for that carniverous laptop!
"Poo Milk Cafe" --restaurant in Khon Kaen. Surely "Poo" (Crab) refers to the owner's nickname; or perhaps this place has patented a delicious crab-n-dairy concoction. Hmm.
"Taffy's Hairy Pie Club" --erm, an establishment on Sukhumvit Soi 22. So...whaddya think goes on there?
"Shaggers" --establishment in Jomtien Beach. Subtle, eh?
I seem to have segued from funny signs to strange place names. It's a Pandora's box, really. More on this soon. Meanwhile, watch out for your belongings -- those wallets can be sneaky things.
That T-shirt beats anything I've seen around here. Wow.
Posted by: teresa | May 27, 2006 at 06:46 AM
Hi Lyle,
Glad to see your blog back! Can't beat the tshirt, but I have seen a dentist on Sukhumvit called 'Doctor Cheese', and a pub (way in the far reaches of outer Sukhumvit) called 'Uncle Drunk'!
Isabel
Posted by: Isabel | May 29, 2006 at 07:11 PM
OMG! You're back on blogging!!!! *YAY!*
That guy with the T-shirt...well, you never know. Maybe he knew full well what the message means. ;-)
Posted by: Elemmaciltur | June 02, 2006 at 06:19 AM