Circumstances That Can Mitigate Stress on Long-haul International Flights
1. Remember the earnest, chatty American dude that I had pegged as some sort of zealot? Well, he turned out to be merely friendly (either that or he sensed my fear) and, after the initial conversational phantasmagoria, settled himself into his own movies and reading material for the (16-hour) remainder of the journey. Thank Brahma.
2. Let me describe Thai Airways' (hereafter referred to as TG) jet for their new non-stop service between Bangkok and New York's JFK. First, the plane is new and scrupulously maintained. Boarding this bird, passengers probably feel the same giddy reverse-schadenfreude one feels when entering a brand-spankin'-new car: oh, the possibilities! I mean, it even smells new.
And don't get me started on TG's Economy Class service on this route. It was superb. It was my most comfortable, least torturous international long-haul flight EVER. Not only do the seats tip back a little bit more than any economy seat my tushie has ever graced, but also the seat part slides forward a bit. Until you sit in a seat that performs this small wonder you might not realize how truly sadistic and rapacious are the airline executives who toss ergonomics research into the circular file for the sake of squeezing three more rows onto a plane. I say, let the seats tip back, dammit!
Also, the food and entertainment options are better than not bad. More on that below.
3. Satisfying grub. The chow in economy was uniformly scrumptious, at least the options I tried. I've forgotten by now most of what I ate during the trip to the States and back; all that's left is the memory of my delight at tucking into some gorgeous meals and gratitude not to be treated like a cretin for -- gasp! -- slumming it back in economy. Often the food looks unappetizing or, worse, looks OK but then tastes horrible. Not the case on these TG flights. Dining well during a 17-hour trip boosts one's morale a great deal.
4. Due to TG's abysmal marketing techniques (read: apparently consisting solely of billboards in Bangkok), this express flight between Bangkok and JFK is often not full. To savvy travelers, that means potentially snagging a neighboring seat for stretching out during the flight. Well, durned if BEM didn't manage to do just that, there AND back. (I was particularly crafty on the return: My 4-seat row already included three men; the row in front of mine had only one woman, next to the far aisle. I moved to the empty aisle seat ahead of mine and when it turned out no one else was seated there, the free neighboring seat was mine, all mine, ha HA! That, my friends, was a key snag.) Omigod, what a difference that made. What long-haul heaven to feel even remotely horizontal for hours at a time. It shouldn't feel like luxury to promote healthy blood circulation to your brain, man. It should be a right of all long-haul economy passengers everywhere.
4. I flew equipped with copious amounts of moisturizer. Lots of it. Slathered it on at frequent intervals during the looong flight. Saves your face from feeling like it's gonna fall off by the time you arrive 12 time zones away from your origin.
5. I came armed with loads of magazines, ranging from political and cultural commentary to utter rubbish, i.e., the New Yorker, the Economist, the International Herald Tribune, "O", Australian Women's Weekly, Hello!, New Idea, Star, and OK!. How could anyone get bored with such literary yumsters lying about?
6. Well, occasionally my eyes did weary of reading. And when that happened, there was TG's trusty in-flight video entertainment, which even to us lowly economy passengers was offered on-demand (major score!) and covered an impressive array of genres. Me, I chose "The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants", which was a real tickle and proved to be even better than expected (I read the book after my hip niece Michaela, age 13, recommended it), and 'The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy", which was a must-see as it stars Mos Def, Sam Rockwell, and "The Office" alum Martin Freeman. Well, the film suited my half-crazed state of mind at the time. I loved it! On the return, I went for golden oldies: "West Side Story" and "Saturday Night Fever". The music selection is also diverse. I listened to mesmerizing Arabic songs, trying to pick out the words I could recall from studying it 13 years ago.
See, that's all we beleagured long-haul travelers need: neighbors who mind their own business; yummy vittles; two seats for sleeping and overall health; moisturizer; good reads; fabulous flicks, and enchanting tunes. Is that so much to ask?
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